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Workin D and the $1000 Burrito

One of the big reasons my blogging came to a significant stop is the simple fact that the ol' 8 to 5 is just not as entertaining as, say, traveling the world. Well I am sorry to say this week has been more entertaining than most. Let me introduce the world to "Workin D".

Workin D is an honest fellow. He works hard for a train. Puts in his time for the man. And when that evening whistle blows Workin D heads straight home, exchanges his corporate uniform for something a bit more comf, and hits the town either seated faithfully on his scoot or atop his trusty yard sale bike.

In the mornings, D sets his alarm early enough to be ready an hour before the man requires. However, after the inevitable late night with his band-member roommates, Workin D, consistently hits the snoozer leaving him 30-45 minutes before his corporate start. Never enough, but mostly sufficient, D spends his precious moments to walk downtown where he picks up the usual split-shot Americano from his favorite and appropriately named Flagstaff coffee shop-"Late for the Train".

One particular morning was different though. Perhaps it was the overcast cover. Maybe the more trying-than-normal work week. Whatever the case, Workin D decided it was a good day to change it up a bit. First he walked to his local grocer to purchase an apple, but after bitting into the crisp treat, D decided his hunger was too strong for his small fruit to satisfy. Yes this craving was much more suited for a breakfast burrito than a small fruit, and D had knew just the place.

Flagstaff is home to one of Northern Arizona's largest hospitals, and what people often forget is that nice hospitals have nice cafeterias which serve respectable breakfast burros at a respectable rate. Workin D was well aware of this seldom known fact. He strolled confidently into the FMC Caf, grabbed his foil wrapped feast and headed back home. By this point Workin D's 45 minutes was nearly up, forcing him to eat his burrito in his car on the way to work.

Now, if there is any fault to be had with the near perfect FMC breakfast b, it is the need to put the salsa on yourself. This, as you can imagine, is rather inconvenient when driving. Especially stop-n-go traffic. Especially when it is raining. And ESPECIALLY when the car in front of you is not moving... Poor Workin D. A good guy, hard worker, and impeccable driving record (excepting the one little incident when he was 16 and rolled his car on I-40). That was all about to change.

D safely steered the car with his left knee, whilst delicately applying the salsa in his left hand to the exposed burrito in his right hand. Mouth watering, he lifted the potato, cheesey egg roll to his anxious lips. Then just his mouth instinctively reached like new born, his eye noticed the rest of the traffic, specifically the traffic right in front of him, was moving at a much slower pace, specifically 0 miles per hour. Foot to brake! Bumper to bumper! Burrito to windshield! Workin' D quickly matched the speed of the car in front of him.

"Holy Blank!" Both cars pulled into the Dairy Queen parking lot. D was shaking like a thirteen year old girl who didn't make the cheer squad as he watched through his egg stained windshield a guy get out of the car he had just shared space with. The man reinserted the missing lens from his eye glasses and walked to the back of his car. Workin D, still shaking and now assured of massive lawsuit mustered up some backbone, got out of his car and prepared for the worst.

Fortunately, the damage did not look as bad as the burrito battered dashboard may have indicated. The man ended up being a college kid. The lawsuit ended up being a post crash cup of coffee. Still the cops were called, citation written, and when all was said and done, the estimated damage came out to $1,100 (not counting the late' Workin D bought for the kid who in the end came away thinking he had a new bumper and best friend).

Working D proceeded to his corporate chamber and finished off the unfortunate day. The next morning, D decided maybe he would return to his coffee ritual and has not had a breakfast burrito since.

The end.

posted by Travelin' D @ 6:38 PM