Beach Bungalo
Yesterday was one of those that just started wrong. No I take it back, it started wonderfully and then an hour into it at about 8:53 am, it turned south. It began with a wonderful walk down a silent beach in the city of Hua Hin. I was still riding my monkey high, as I walked blissfully down the nearly deserted beach reflecting on the little furry critters and my speed demon scooter. Then I continued back to the guest house and found on that wonderful stupid scooter a ticket. There was not question what it was for as you could see my scooter was one of the few vehicles on that side of the road whereas most of the vehicles that were parked there the night before were on the other side now.
This is when I began to question my scooter in Thailand plan. Yes I was parked under a sign written in Thai, but I have more sense that. We'll call it scooter instinct. I ask our receptionist if it's ok to park there she says yes, but to move it tomorrow. "So I can leave it here through the morning and move it tomorrow morning?" I ask with precise intuition. "Yes" "Ok" Well, I think maybe Thai mornings are different than American mornings. Sure enough a parking ticket issued whilst I carelessly strolled the sandy stretch. Fortunately, my timing was good because as soon as I asked the receptionist to translate the ticket the copper showed up stated his case and offered me the favor of paying him $200 instead of going myself to the station and paying $400. A deal for both of us no doubt.
The end? No. That same morning just after checking email 1 block from the guest house, I was scooting the 40 yards back to the guest house only to be stopped by Copper #2 who happily gave me a ticket for driving with no helmut for that dangerous 40 yards. I thanked him for his "service", and made sure he knew that his town was making good money off of me, paid the $200 and fastened my helmut for the final 20 yards of my trip. Then I polished off the night staying in some nasty little guesthouse for $100 Bhat, as I mumbled myself to sleep with curses of Thailand.
Well you might be able to tell by the picture that Thaland has totally redeemed itself. Today I caught the 6 am Catamarand to the Island of Koh Toa. Walked up and down the strip of guest houses renting bungalos on the beach until I found one who for $225 USD 4 days of training and diving for me to be a certified diver and 4 nights free in a bungalo maybe 30 feet from the best beach I've seen yet. This afternoon I began my scuba training, which means watching a series of videos for the time being.
Now after a couple of strolls down the beach, petting a couple friendly strays and treating myself to a Mexican (barely) food platter for $5 USD. Tomorrow I will get the pool training to prepare me for some open water action. And tonight... all is well.
Nighty Night.
The Monkey Ranger
Let's start with my last blog... the Lady Boys. The whole time I was typing that blog I thought to myself, "Man, I wish I had a good picture of a lady boy so everyone could see what I was talking about." I shouldn't have to explain the trouble with that however, I will. 1. You can't just take pictures without asking...well sometimes but you have to be really quick and stealthy (ie: Asian grandma's practicing Tai Chi in the park with swords). But in this case the risk was too great, even more than the sword-baring grannies. 2. Asking to take a picture of a lady-boy is also risky. Either they think you are making fun and can potentially snap. And don't forget they are still dudes so yes they can fight (no offence girls). OR even worse they think you are interested. So that leaves only one viable option: Take a cooking course where your teacher is a Lady Boy. PERFECT! So to view this picture click on the flickr picture box where you will find Micky the Lady-Boy Chef. The cooking class as you can imagine was quite fun and we were taught some 6 Thai dishes. All delicious if ever I can reproduce them.
I would tell you more about the cooking but I have a lot of catching up to do, so moving on. I also mentioned the Tiger Temple in my last post. Once again you can see a picture of a brave Derek cautiously stroking the ferocious beast. And I swear that is a roar not a yawn... What? It's a roar! You weren't there, ok? Tiger Temple day was pretty great. Of course petting a creature that a few days ago you personally watched hunt it's prey with frightening efficiency is fantastic. So is feeding the boars, cows, horses, and water buffaloes which we did at the Tiger Temple. But maybe the higlight of the day was renting a scooter for 150 B ($3.50 US-which was split with Christina, so really $1.75). Driving through the lush country side of Thailand racing the monsoons back to town.
This got me thinking and checking. Here's a travel tip for anyone considering a visit Thailand in the future. To buy a motorcycle/scooter here costs $1,000 for a brand new one, or $400 for a used. So think about it, buy it for $400, drive it for a month all over the country that you would be renting scoots anyway or buying bus tickets. Then when it's all over sell it for $300. Cake. That's free of charge. And no I'm not doing it, I've decided it's too late now. Moving on.
After our time touching tigers and cooking with a hermie, Christina and I traveled back to Bangkok. Decision time: Go north to do some elephant trecking then working my way down Laos, Cambodia and back to Bangkok. Or go south to the islands. My choice: South. I have been so looking forward to some beaches and coconuts that I just couldn't wait.
Ok I'm starting to ramble again to I'm going to jump right to the good stuff. We rented another scooter (see, I'm telling you just buy one!) and headed up the legendary Monkey Mountain. Ok, that's really my name for it and there may not be a legend behind it but as soon as you get to the top where the temple is an old lady comes up to sell you bananas. That's a good sign. Then come the monkeys. Instinctively they start swinging out of the woodwork to get a piece of this banana action. Now those of you who have been following from the begining know that I have already had a monkey experience. Turns out these are the same kind of monkeys. Except this time I have harnessed the monkey spirit and they can tell by my eyes I'm not to be messed with.
Problem is Christina, has not harnessed the spirit of monkey. She and I get off the scooter which is instantly covered with monkeys trying to tip it over or check themselves out in the mirrors. Fair enough, not my scooter so they can have their way with it, we will just walk up the steps to the temple. Well as we come to the base of the steps one white fanged beast climbs up the back of Christina. Ofcourse I calm, collected, and prepared with a stick, first warn Christina. She yells. I poke the monkey and the monkey runs away. And now Christina has also been christened with the spirit of monkey.
That was the initial excitement, which had Christina freaked for the remainder of our time. However there were many other highlights, such as me showing my paternal instincts to one darling ape. The ape in turn tried to show his gratitude by grooming my facial hair for bugs. Bless his little heart. An awesome day. And if that picture doesn't win the hearts of ladies all over this planet I don't know what will.
Next up? Ko Tao (Turtle Island) where I should be a certified diver in 3-4 days.
The Man Apple
Watch out for the `Lady Boys` he kept telling me. When I was in San Francisco with Ben on my way to fly out of Portland we met a friend of Ben`s girlfriend`s friend and former roommate (follow?) who kept saying over and over watch out for the Lady Boys when you get to Thailand. I`ve been in Thailand for almost exactly 24 hours and they are EVERYWHERE. And I have to tell you if I didn`t have such an well traveled head on my shoulders I might really be freaking out. In fact I might just freak out anyway!
I`m sure someone reading this is going to tell me to have an `open mind` or to be a little more `culturally understanding`. Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. I don`t think I`m backin down from this one. You`re just walking through this wonderful market enjoying yourself, when a Thai girl smiles at you as you walk by her shop. You pause look at the little wooden elephant carving look back up and BOOM! (What THE?!?)there is this big ol`Man Apple sticking out of that same Thai girl`s throat.
I`ll admit it, I like girls, and I like liking girls. I know there are guys that like guys and girls girls, but let`s at least be honest with each other. I mean I think it`s fair that we know just who (or what) is smiling at who? Am I wrong? Don`t get me wrong, it hasn`t happened yet (at least that I know of) but what when you are walking down the street minding your own business and you think to yourself, "Now she`s an attractive....(screeeeech!) dude? Not cool. I get the heebies just thinking of it.
All I am proposing is some sort of system that says "Hi, I am a guy." Ok? Ok.
Other than that cultural confusion Thailand so far is great. It is true, the food is unmatched. Even a little Pad Thai in the mall for lunch will get you excited for dinner. It is certainly more warm and sweaty but not as bad as I was expecting. I spent one full day in Bangkok and just this afternoon took a bus to, um... well you wouldnt understand me if I did know how to spell it, but it`s where the bridge over River Kwae is. And in the next two days I plan to take my new Tiger excitement to "Tiger Temple" where the monks actually let you take pictures with the tigers!!! Then after that, I have a full day set aside for an authentic Thai cooking course, where by the end of the day I should have 6 solid dishes down Pad. Get it?...Like Pad Thai... the dish...
Oh man, I`m awesome.
Hello Thailand!
This will be quick because I don't really have any stories yet for Thailand. I got in late last night. It is now morning and I haven't even left the guest house yet. Nothing too eventful coming over besides the lady behind me on the plane falling and grabbing my sleeping head in front of her because thinking it was the seat. Yah, well it wasn't. I was about to open up a can until I looked back and realized it was a little 50+ year old Chinese lady. So I just let that one slide.
The other thing I have noticed so far, besides the humidity and noticable cockroach population, is that the cabbies here are not afraid to ask for directions. Once again my cab drive got lost trying to find the hostel last night. Except this time instead of driving around for 45 minutes, stopping and then pointing to the curb, the cab driver actually stopped and asked a couple of guys standing on the street. To top it off I paid about half what I was told the cab would cost.
I also am happy to find that for the first time since entering China, I am able to access my blog and actually see some of your comments! Super stoked about that. As a reminder, China is not a "free-speech" country, so blogspot.com is banned from anyone using the internet in the country. Therefore, I could post but never see the site. This morning was the first I saw, and was pleased to find some people are actually reading it! And I'd like to give a big shout out to my peeps at AAA and all my homies back home. "Woot Woot!"
Alright team, I'm off to see the city, the wonderful city-Bangkok. I'll talk with you later.
One last thing, if ever you would like to contact me without having your message broadcasted to my many...MANY friends my email address is this: heydpt@hotmail.com. I am also on MSN Messenger, and Yahoo (screen name: jellowdaddy. I don't know it just sounded cool at the time.) But remember when it's 10 am there, it's midnight here. Peace. ~D
Chinese Fun Facts
Tomorrow will complete my month in China. I still have a couple of stories that I think are blog worthy, but since tomorrow I fly to Thailand I thought it might be good to review some of the cultural differences I've experience in my time here. Many of you, have never been to China, just as I had never been to China before May 26. I would like to dedicate this entry to you so that in the event that you plan an around the world trip with a stop in China you will be well prepared.
I have compiled the following list of Chinese Fun Facts:
* Ebb n Flo. Chinese driving is on it's own system. In America we drive on the right hand side. In England, they drive on the left. In China, um, whatever. For example, In China you are allowed to drive on the left side of the road if someone is driving on the right in front of you. It doesn't matter if there are cars coming the opposite direction because they also can drive where ever they like. Bikes, scooters, and pedestrians all abide by the same rules. To be honest, I like it. It actually seems to work.
* In Hong Kong the Walk/Don't Walk are enhanced with the sound of a spastic cow bell sound.
* Pedestrians are allowed to walk in the middle of the road, just as bikers are allowed to swerve into the road at any moment.
* When you gotta go you gotta go. And as you know when you are a child you have much less control over when you gotta. So China has implimented the baby/toddler slot in the back of any pair of pants for children under the age of 5. Not only does this allow for instarelief, it also can be very cool and refreshing on a hot day.
* Drivers must be very careful to alert any moving vehicle, person, animal, or inanimate object at all times. The most effective recommendation is you use a long series of unending honking forever.
* Spitting. It is important to remember that in some countries it is a major offence to spit on a sidewalk or anywhere in public. China, however, understands that if there is something in your throat it needs to be out NOW. If you see someone and fear they may be choking or convulsing, please step back and count to 30. Generally (though not always) this is enough time for the person to have successfully cleared his/her throat onto the sidewalk. (Many close minded people will view this as 'disgusting', I on the other hand feel if you ever want to connect with a people you will need to embrace their traditions as well.)
* Spitting II. If when eating, a person finds a bone, gristle or any other undesirable item, that item should be spat directly onto the table.
* Neon. The best way to attract a person to your store is to cover the outside with neon lights that flash and move quickly.
* Staring. It is impolite not to stare.
* Every part of an animal is edible. Yes, that too.
* The Squatter. When in China you never have to use a toilet seat cover in a public restroom. That's because there are no toilets. (Actually, many of the nice hotels and local libraries do have toilets, just in case you are wondering.)
* Some languages require yelling.
* If you have had a disagreeable meal prior to taking an overnight sleeper train with a tall (and handsome) American, you are allowed to release that disagreement as loudly and often as you possible during the 12 hour train ride.
* Charades is NOT a universal language.
There are many more, but this should get you started. I will try to get a couple last China stories posted but tomorrow is my last day, and I trust Thailand will have a few stories of it's own.
By the way I did get to see the Great Wall, twice. One 'secret wall' and one restored wall. Both pretty amazing.
Good bye, lovely China. Good Bye.
One chicken please. Live, of course.
First of all I'm sorry. If there is one thing I will not be sad to leave behind, it's the sketchy computers that speak only Chinese. Not long ago I finished one of the finest blogs yet, and after over one straight hour of e-brilliance I tried to review my entry when "blat" gone. Totally disappeared. Worse yet, I understand that by this point, the few friends that might have been following along have certainly given up now. Leaving probably only my mother, bless her heart, that will see this blog. Thanks mom, you were always there for me. Now mom (and if by slim chance there are other readers) let me catch you up to speed.
I believe in my last entry I was in Yangzhou with my friends Andy and Katrina. Well after I demonstrated my basketball dominance, I continued to Beijing-Home of the 2008 Olympics. Here I met up with another friend from AZ, Christina, spent a couple days, and then continued to visit my friends Blue and Gina in Harbin. Home of TIGER PARK!
I would like to warn anyone reading who might be weak of heart or stomach that you may want to stop reading right.....NOW. Ok, now that the pansies are gone, let me tell you about Tiger Park. I had heard from Gina previous to my trip that there was a park in China where you can buy a live chicken to feed to the Tigers. Gina, however, had never actually been to this park herself. So Day 1 in Haerbin, 5 anxious Americans travel to the outskirts of town to settle these rumours once and for all. We walk up to the ticket counter to find that right under the price of the tickets, there is menu, where one can order strip steaks, live chicken, live duck, all the way up to an entire live cow.
I suppose before I go any further, it is important to point out that the mission of Tiger Park is the study, breeding, and eventual release of Manchurian Tigers in an effort to keep these beautiful creatures from going extinct. You all know that I have a very humanitarian heart, and so I felt it was only right that I help contribute to the cause by purchasing a live chicken (and 2 strips of beef, since they were so cheap).
We all pile into a bus and drive bit by bit through the park, when finally our driver picks up her walkie talkie and mumbles something into it. Within 5 minutes an SUV that looked more like a 4x4 cage come driving into the field, opens a door and throws a live chicken onto its roof. The tigers circled the vehicle, as our brave cock stood deathly still on the roof, moving only its concerned head. I need not tell you how the story ends, except for one little cock it ended quickly as one of the tigers jumped up and with one swipe had dinner.
No we didn't see any sheep or cows, but I did learn that day in Tiger Park that ducks live longer than chickens. But not by much. There are a hundred stories to tell you about just in Tiger Park, including me feeding a real life Liger a long strip of meat. That too was intense, especially since Mr. Liger just about killed Mrs. Liger to get it.
Long live Tiger Park.
Take Me to the Airport.
Flashback.
Ok, I have just arrived to Guilin from Yangshuo and need to get to the airport (for the flight that will eventually be canceled). I walk to the place that has shuttles to the airport where outside a guy in his cab starts yelling at me to come over.
I show Mr. Cabbie the chinese writing that is supposed to say airport and rub my fingers together. I'm not sure that's universal sign language for "how much" but it does the job. He says $20. I of course walk away. He starts yelling and I say $15. $15 makes sense because the shuttle is $20. Mr. Cabbie agrees and I get in.
First of all I point to the meter, which already has $10 on it and say 1-5(by say I mean writing in the air). He nods and turns the meter off. The ride is something like 20 minutes but finally I see a sign that says Airport in English so at least I know we're headed the right direction.
Then we pull up to the toll booth. Mr. Cabbie pulls up so that my window is next to the booth. Toll lady says something to him, he says something to me and points to the toll lady. Clearly he expects me to pay the $10 toll. So I play the "can't speak Chinese" card to ride this out until everyone is suffering. I show the lady the paper that says airport on it, she points down the road and then starts yelling at the cabbie. Finally I pay, but I am not happy.
Unfortunately, the lowest bill in my pocket is a $10. So as soon as we arrive I review in charades with Mr. Cabbie our agreement of $15. I give him the toll receipt-$10, and I give him a $10 bill. Now in my book that adds up to $20. He plays the "I don't speak English" card, and we start going back and forth each knowing exactly what the other is saying.
One Chinese fun fact is that the Chinese people are a curious folk. So when there is something out of the norm they are instantly attracted. Well white guy arguing with cabbie just happens to fit that bill. Before you know it, there are about 20 Chinese people gathered around. And now a game of group charades. I couldn't help but be a little bit nervous, considering I am lily white in a field of um... not-so-lily white, and sure 10 Yuan is $1.20 US, but there is a principle here.
We both take our cases to the masses. I act out my version (quite well if I do say so myself) and show the group of mainly cabbies my toll receipt. Everyone gathers round. One guy looks up at me and then slaps Mr. Cabbie in the back of the head. They start arguing lightly, and another cabbie waves me on as I am free to go.
Chalk that one up under "Lily White".
Gimme Da Rock!
I can't explain it, but when you come to China there are a few things you just expect. Like for example, because I am American I am going to be better than everyone at basketball.
Well my friends, I am happy to say that after some 4 hours of basketball playing on the Yangzhou University Courts, I am still undefeated. You are probably asking yourself, "Derek, are you really that good at basketball?" Well, yes, I am. And in China, definitely. To be honest, I played pretty poorly, but when in size you match up like Dirk to Steve, you can't help but be decent. It also probably didn't help that the other American was on the same team
I do want to give some props to my Chinese balluhz. They were not bad and we did have some good close games. But like I originally said, there are somethings you just have to expect.
Booya.
I realize now that my last post, while informative was also probably much too long. Therefore, I am really going to make an effort to keep the length of the blogs to a minimum and maybe post more oft. (I think I'm going to start using that word, if it is even a word at all. Oft. Mmm nice.)
Ok. It dawned on me there were a couple of interesting stories that I have journaled but not blogged. Because of my redefined blogging style I will address one of them here and maybe another later.
Let's backtrack to the "Chinese Family" I mentioned about a week ago but never ended up talking about. (That was the period of frustrating hostel computers.) Rather than staying a extra night in Yangshuo (the beautiful Chinese city of step mountain pillars and rivers) I decided I would go ahead an move on to Xiamen. I hop on the bus to Guilin where my flight leaves and get there by 4:00 pm.
Instead of telling you about my exciting 8 hour wait in the airport for a plane that "was rerouted". I'm going to skip right to the part where at say 12:30 am I am gathered around the boarding station with about 30 other Chinese people. I'd like to remind the reader that in China there aren't many people who speak English, and in the Guilin airport that night there might have been three but I have no idea who they were.
The only thing I did know is there were a lot of angry Chinese people and one sore thumb gathered around for an explanation of our now canceled flight (that I put together myself). I find an airport worker who speaks enough English to confirm my assumption, and then do what any foreigner would do. Follow the crowd. I could guess who was on my flight so I follow a group of them onto a bus, where I receive the usual busload stare down. The bus takes us to a four star Chinese hotel. Not as nice as American 4-stars but the rooms did have a toilet and some comp. paper slippers.
Fortunately one of the front desk agents spoke a bit of English to tell me there was breakfast tomorrow and that the front desk would call me when I needed to be in lobby for the plane. After a wonderful sleep I march myself right into that restaurant, see some familiar faces who I greet with the one of two Chinese words I know: Ni Hao. I assumed maybe they would invite the stranger to eat with them. They didn't. So I wandered around until the waitress sat me at my own table in the corner.
Back to the room. Nap. Back to the restaurant for lunch. This time I see some people in the elevator from my flight, and this time I walk right next to them as though one big family. We are sat accordingly. Over lunch they warm up a little bit (maybe just needed some fishhead is all) and I could tell we were making some good connection.
Eventually we all go back to the airport, but now people are pointing and fighting the ticket counter for me. Walking me through every little step. Until finally right before our plane arrives, I gather everyone (almost) together for a family picture. I know Chinese love to take pictures so I had a feeling it would be successful. And you can see for yourself it was.
One big happy family. By the way an added bonus to my new friends, two free meals and a free night in luxury, I also got a refund of 200 yuan. Yes that's 25 USD, but with my bargaining skills that can go a long way in China.
Go Time.
I know I've only been in China a couple of weeks, but I've been here long enough to learn a few things. Like for example, sometimes people want more than to just "practice English". Well after the last experience I blogged about, I realized I needed to take a moment, reflect and prepare myself for my next adventure. More specifically-The Market.
There are a couple of markets that are highlighted as "must sees" in Shanghai. One in particular focuses on cheap designer knock offs, which just happens to be the kind of clothing I like. Since my general trust for the good of humanity had already been taken advantage of a few times, I was determined it was not going to happen today. Fortunately, my years of garage saling was finally going to pay off. Here are some basic rules, I came up with:
Rule #1: Never Say No.
I know what you are thinking, "Derek, have you not learned anything? No, is the one thing you must know!" Well, I understand where you are coming from but it just seems so negative. So instead my new philosophy is "let them tell you no". Here's how it works.
Everywhere you go you have some lady or man trying to sell you postcards, umbrellas, whatever, none of which you want. So as you walk down the street a lady comes up and says toothlessly, "Hallo, Hallo. Postcards 1 for 10 Yuan." Well rather than saying no twenty times to the same persistent question, I make a counter such as. "10 postcards for 1 Yuan". Now I may have to repeat myself once or twice to make sure they understood, because generally there is a blank stare. The blank stare is then followed up with either a laugh and walk away or look of disgust and walk away. But almost always-a walk away.
Rule #2: Offer Low...No Lower.
Everyone knows you never accept the asking price. But when you are new to China, you might still be a little hesitant to bargain. For example, an Irish buddy I was hanging out with who paid 220 Y for shorts that started at 250 Y. Poor thing. I had to pull him aside right away and explain you never buy the first thing you come across and always offer low. I mean ridiculously low. If they scoff you are on the right track.
Rule #3: Walk Away.
This is the most important lesson of all. After you've found something you are interested in and have made a disgustingly low offer, you will always be greeted with a "No way". If you've done really well you get a "Get out of my country". Perfect. Now turn and walk at least 5 steps. But you say, "What if you really want it? And anyway it's only $20 USD which is still a steal." Don't worry. Usually on step four, they say start screaming. "Wait! Wait!" If they don't start screaming you go to the next booth and try the same. Then if it doesn't work there, you return with a slightly higher price.
For example, I see a tee shirt I like, a nice Timberland knock off. "You like? I give you great price. Usually $180 Yuan, for you $150." (By the way all prices are entered into a hand calculator and shown to alleviate any confusion.) I then take the calculator clear the 150 and type in 20. Yes 2 0. Just as planned the scoff. If it's good English they'll tell you they can't buy at that price. They offer $130. Me-$30. Scoff. Turn and walk. "Ok Ok, no joking tell me your price. I give good deal." Fine. $40. "Ok how bout 90." Turn and walk. Now I want you to know that I was at least 2 booths away (twice!) with her grabbing my arm draggin me back. And yes I got my shirt for $40 Yuan ($5 USD).
Mission Accomplished.
"I just want to practice my Engrish"
Hey everyone, I just got to Shanghai last night and I'm itchin to go check out the city which so far is better even than Hong Kong. However, I just found out that the web browser here at this hostel is completely in English so I couldn't pass on the chance. So this will be short but quick update:
If every anyone approaches you with the above phrase one should be weary. You might think I learned my lesson with the "English teacher/Chinese Art professor" that sold me one of his personal paintings in Guilin. I didn't. Alright so I'm a trusting person, jeeze.
Well last night after I just arrived to Shanghai, I hit the streets to find some dinner at the number one recommended restaurant by Lonely Planet (Travel Guide). "Hi, where from?... "Oh, can I walk with you to pratice my Engrish? I can help you find." Since I had been walking around in the rain for the past 40 minutes and this girl and her brother seemed to know where this restaurant, this might just be perfect. Ok, so the restaurant had been closed down and for the next 30 minutes we walked around looking for some other place. "Noodles? Oh you like this place." Ok. We all sit down and Ms. Engrish starts working her way down the menu for her and her brother. The waitress adds everything up and points to me. "You want me to pay for everyone?" "Of course."
Yeah, NOT OF COURSE! So we all leave before anything is prepared, and continue to walk for as I try to explain if she wants something she should maybe ask first. Eventually I buy us all a bowl of dumplings to share. I quickly paid before she had a chance to say "I'm still hungry" Which she did. And by the way I should let the reader know that this girl was in no way malnourished.
Ok blah, blah, blah and some walking when I put together the boy she is with is not her brother. And after a series of further questions like where are you staying, etc., I decide it's time to say good bye. And no you can't have my address, and no I don't have a phone number... In English: Good night. Ol' Shanghai livin up to it's shady past.
"Why, yes you can..."
Well, it finally happened. I mean it only took 7 days, but it finally happened and then it happened twice in one day. Yesterday I was asked two different times if someone could take a picture of me. One of which you should be able to see here. (And no Mom, I didn't ask. Besides she's probably too young to be married.)
One thing you get used to is people staring at you. Now in the States that happens too, but here it's not just the ladies staring at me, it's everyone! When I say everyone, I mean of course everyone who sees you. I have almost seen a few accidents from a person riding by on his/her bike, and forgetting for a few moments that there is a road in front of them and that they are on a bike. People on busses are no different. Actually it's kind of fun to see a bus go buy and watch as this see of faces all move in unison to watch white guy on the side of the road. Many of the Chinese have this distant look which could easily be interpreted as "I don't like you". I have found, however, that a simple "Nee How" (spelled phonetically) will instantly change their composure. So it goes from "I hate you, leave my country" to "That's Awesome! The white guy speaks!" This is generally followed with a big grin and laughter.
Right now I am in Suzhou. I arrived here this morning at about 6:30 am by an 11 hour boat ride. The boat ride originated in Hangzhou which is one of the best places yet. Hangzhou is home of the famous West Lake and was tagged by ol' Marco Polo as being one of the most beautiful places on Earth. Now we all know Marco had a tendency of exagerating, but it really was beautiful. Hangzhou is also pretty famous for it's green tea. I'm not much of a green tea guy, but I did try some and not bad. You will often see chicke feet for sale on the side of the road (that's to eat), but yesterday was the first time I have seen grasshopper, crickets, and other 6 legged delicacies. I didn't try any yet as I had just eaten, but I've heard the catepillars are absolutely to die for.
Alright friends, I'm off to see what these "gardens" are everyone is talking about. Talk to you soon. ~D
Before we pick-up where we left off I need to point out two things:
1. Hostel computers suck for posting blogs and pictures.
2. Just a reminder, I can't actually access my blog from China. I can post still which is why you are able to read these (when the Hostile (clever) computer works) but I cannot look at my website. So were it not for my dear mother's affirmation I wouldn't even know these are going through. In otherwords if anyone has posted any messages and is upset that I haven't responded, that's why. I haven't gotten them. And yes I know that presumes people are actually reading my blog.
Now let's continue. When I left off I had courageously defended myself and my American friends from a pack of crazy jungle beasts. Well before the night was over I was fortunate enough to witness a couple of Chinese girls modeling in our luxurious hostel for a group of about 5 photographers. Sweet, huh? I also met someone from China whose American name was apparently "Weenie", also sweet. Next day Yangshuo.
The New Yorkers and I decided to catch a boat down the Li River to Yangshuo. Rather than taking a 3 hour tour boat loaded with Chinese people and a Chinese tour guide, we decided to take a 2 hour speed boat ride, with just one Chinese driver. The speed boat we were told would cover 1/3 more river than the tour boat in the 2 hours. Well some 4.5 hours later we arrived to Yungshuo somehow after all of the tour boats. That might have had something to do with our guide stopping to have lunch at a riverside shack. Oh no, that's what I thought, "Lunch on the guide? Sure." No, rather he made the motion of taking a picture, pointed at us and disappeared for 45-minutes to an hour. Honestly though, it was hard to get upset when we passed through probably the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen.
This large river scattered with old Chinese fishermen and their birds (I'll explain in a second) and lined with some amazing otherworldly mountains was absolutely breathtaking. It was rainy and foggy (imagine that) which added a mysterious air. As for the fishermen, they fish with birds instead of fishing poles. As I understand it the fishermen put some type of leash on the birds and something around their necks to prevent the birds from swallowing the fish. When a bird sees a fish it dives into the water, catches the fish and then brings it back to the surface to his beloved owner. I'm not quite sure of all the details but you get the idea.
I think I made a mistake by going to Yangshuo, because it's hard to imagine any place cooler. It is described in Lonely Planet and the "backpacker's mecca". True Dat! As soon as we got off the boat (at like 2:00 pm!) we walked through the only road to town and about one mile of shoulder to shoulder vendors. The town felt like maybe the Aspen of southern China (never been to Aspen but if it's anything like Yanshuo it's gotta be beautiful). It was targeted specifically for the backpacker full of shops with Northface (I'm assuming fake), backpacks, and other designer specialties.
Another reason I think I ruined myself is today (day 8) when I payed 45 Yuen for my room I was a little bit irritated. $8 Yuen = $1 US Dollar. That is because when all is said and done I spent about $2.25 for a comfy little room in one of the most picturesque cities in the world. Kind of unbelievable. To make up for it I spent $2.50 on lunch at "Minnie Mao's"-yes, as in Disney and the homemade painting of a mouse on the sign.
I have a terrible tendancy to ramble so I'm just going to jump to today's highlight. When we finished eating it was about 3:30. So we hoped on some bikes for $1.25 a day price and started off for a water cave we heard good things about. It is pouring down rain and the 4 Americans are riding bikes (2 tandom) through rice fields and mountains. It's 5ish when we get to this water cave and approach the counter to buy tickets. $120 Y per person. We've learned by now not to settle, so we start haggling and really annoying this poor Chinese girl down to $80 and get on the bus. It's starting to get dark and their was some tension in the air, because the next thing we know we're on a dirt road driving through what looks like an abandoned Chinese prison. 2 of the New Yorkers, probably well familiar with the Bronx start freaking out. They were both fairly certain we were on our way to a terrible death in the rice fields. Myself and the other guy tried to tell them to wait it out, since the driver knew 0 english. You are clever enough to know that since I am blogging this we survived and made it to the Water Cave.
All of us put on hard hats and pile into a small skinny boat. Then entrance to this cave is a skinny hole in the mouth of a rock, you have to basically lay down to get in. However once you're about 5 minutes into the cave it opens up and you get out and walk through a maze of caverns and underwater rivers. We only did the half tour so we made it as far as the mud pool, took a quick dip and left 2 hours later. Needless to say it was pretty dark as we biked through the country side back to the city. Another one of those moments when you take a step back and think to yourself... "Is this really happening?"
Guilin, Yangshuo, and my new Chinese family
Oh where to begin...where to begin. What is it like day 5 now? And it has been a couple (few) days since my last entry. Which means there are so many things I need to tell you about. Several times throughout each day I take a step back and think to myself, "This is really something. I need to journal this." And everynight I am exhausted and so my new Walmart spiral journal remains pure as a winter snow.
So over the next several paragraphs, I'm going to try to recall as many of the most interesting things as possible. I think the best way to do this is by day, and if I remember correctly the last time I journaled I had just arrived to Guilin, with 3 New Yorker's that I met on the bus. Ok, I'm going to back track just for a second for something I don't think I wrote about that day.
As you'll remember we took a 12 hour overnight bus to Guilin. After a day of visiting the Reed Flute cave (see pic), and the Solitary Beauty Peak, I had just about had it. (I explained the sore feet from Hong Kong) However, when you are hanging out with three other guys, who you just met, the last thing you want to do is sound like a pansie and bail out of an activity because your "feet are sore (?!)". So rather than sissying (yes it's a word) out I agreed to visit one last tourist attraction, the Seven Peaks Park. Ok sure we saw a Panda, and had the chance to take a picture snuggled up in a cage with an enourmous tiger (which I opted not to do only because I didn't want to spend the money-again not because I am a girl), but the best thing that happened was right at the end as the park was closing. Apparently the keepers expect you be prompt when the park is closing, because before any of us were out the released all the monkeys. Awesome right? Right. We are making our way out with monkeys flying over head, I think it's their dinner time, when one monkey drops right out of the tree onto the sidewalk in front of us. We all think it's funny and laugh and the cute little thing runs off. But then some 15 seconds later much larger monkey comes running towards us with his possie. This monkey runs right up to one of the other guys and I am watching not sure what's about to happen. Monkey is hootin and holerin with teeth bared and grabs my friends leg on the way by. SWEET! My friend is a little freaked, but I'm loving it, no harm done. Then the monkey turns around for round two, and I'm the next closest human.
Now what they don't tell you in the Lonley Planet Travel guide is how to defend against attacking monkeys in a public park. So I have in one hand an empty water bottle, which I am debating to use for noise or beating. The monkey runs up to me slapping the ground like a freak, the other guy closest to me has now taken off like white lightening, and I decide the best thing to do is just man up. I turn and face the monkey preparing mentally to how to kick this freak show while beatin it with a plastic water bottle, and keeping all parts of my body in tact. Just at that moment, in a timely manner, one of the park keeper starts blowing his whistle and yelling and the monkey runs away. This, I remind you, is day one in mainland China.
Well that took much longer than I expected. I think I will close this entry out and start another one. Because of the computer I am on I can't tell, but I think there is a picture of me with my "Chinese" family in this entry. I will explain that in the next entry... so tune in next time to find out just what happenen to our travelin friend to be surrounded by an entire of Chinese people none of which speak a lick of English!
